I am a pretty free and flowing parent. I don't even think that I parent any more. My children are 16 and 12 and they never make a decision that disappoints me. Please don't assume that my children are perfect...lots of hard work was done when they were younger. Now they are just cruisy, easy-going, well-mannered young people.
I have always been a big believer that personality is innate. You are born with a personality. Your environment can influence you, but essentially you react to it in the way that your personality programs you. I have not fought against my children's personalities. They are very different human beings and I have allowed them the space they needed to be themselves (in a socially acceptable way!)
My children talk to me fairly easily. Our family is very open about our lives and no topic is taboo in our family. We are not easily offended by topic or language. I like that. I am very grateful to have this relationship with my children.
This week my daughter came to me to discuss a car accident that was reported in our city. An 18yo driver had lost control of a vehicle and killed his 16yo passenger. This is a media focus around Australia at the moment and is quite close to home for us. I reminded her that she always had a choice about getting into a car. She only had to call on us or one of my sisters and we would pick her up any where, any time if she was uncomfortable.
"Never get into a car with someone you think is a dickhead!" I said to her.
She gave me a knowing smile and nod and with big, innocent eyes said, "Hmm. Last time I travel with you then."
Fancy ME having a smart-mouthed child!
No Respect!
13 comments:
hee hee !
Well, I subscribe to your point of view .. so hopefully i'm just as lucky.
I do belive in the personality-from-birth thing though, plus some guidance and moulding .. but I swear ..
I am living with one old soul ...
rofl - she's quick, that one :)
Cute!
I was very much like you Tracey, & our kids were a dream when they were teenagers. We had our moments of course, but on the whole they were very good, & never took silly risks.
I totally related to everything you said, & did.
Nice Post!
Mind you remind her of that statement next time she urgently needs a lift somewhere.
I totally agree with the innate born-with-it personality thing. Totally.
Not just a smart mouth.....a quick wit too!
What a cheeky devil - even at 16!
I very much agrre with the innate temperament/personality thing. I have been an avid reader of the temperament studies here and overseas about how temperament CANNOT be changed but only modified.
I very much like your line "I have not fought against my children's personalities." There is a big lesson in that for me as my first girl is very much like me and I can react to things she does when really I still haven't fully accepted my own temperament yet and am "taking it" on her!
That should be "taking it out" of course!
Great comeback from your daughter!
Congratulations - whatever you did when they were younger obviously worked.
So...what was it? How did you raise your kids to be easy going and well-mannered? Were you really strict?
Man I love her!!! Peta
you just can't teach that kind of bitch, you are born with it, you must be so proud
That is great that you and your kids have such a good relationship!
h&b - my son has been a little old man since he was born too
carmaena - she had to be quick to duck my shoe!!!
meggie - there are always moments, but they are small
stomper - my sister is calling her 'bus-girl'
molly - too quick for her own good
nutmeg - I know just what you mean about seeing your own personality reflected
my float - not strict, but omnipresent, I knew what they were doing all the time!
peta - you want to live with her?
sussanah - the bitch gene is inherited from your mother, it is a scientific fact!
myutopia - yes, I like it a lot
If you ever want to run a parenting class, I'll fly up especially for it!!
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